I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We named our party play list daddy issues
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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