we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
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Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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