i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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