this beer tastes like vomit already
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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