i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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