I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
