i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
