My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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