Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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