that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
