I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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