Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
