I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah