Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

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(312): View more from Illinois

kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"

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(716): View more from New York

If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.

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