She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This baby is an asshole
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.