i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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