found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize