C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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