it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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