I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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