I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
did i just pee glitter
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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