i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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