so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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