hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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