she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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