Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize