so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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