he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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