Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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