If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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