small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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