I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
