Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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