i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
