He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
