So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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