I'm gonna have a badass scar
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize