def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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