they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
