Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
