I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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