After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
