For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
