Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
