Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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