Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
