We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
