Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize