We won't sleep together?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
