he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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