somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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