he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
