Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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