I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
