we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
