Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time. http://tfl.nu/w76y
  Replies (51) Good night (1604) Bad night (4914)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5469) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy http://tfl.nu/e6l2
  Replies (36) Good night (4022) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw
  Replies (11) Good night (1137) Bad night (3685)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this? http://tfl.nu/6xbx
  Replies (7) Good night (1696) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap http://tfl.nu/o5dz
  Replies (9) Good night (4501) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out. http://tfl.nu/oebq
  Replies (3) Good night (2565) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on. http://tfl.nu/zy8a
  Replies (53) Good night (888) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo http://tfl.nu/26vh
  Replies (10) Good night (1995) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks. http://tfl.nu/3xq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2892) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party http://tfl.nu/qwra
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis http://tfl.nu/gujt
  Replies (13) Good night (3648) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists http://tfl.nu/lizw
  Replies (3) Good night (982) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Stop reading WebMD high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around? (813): Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid? (1-813): Stop reading WebMD high. http://tfl.nu/y2j5
  Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (325)

Randomize