Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight

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  (718): 3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight http://tfl.nu/iyeq
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (2357)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  dying kittens.

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  (201): what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner? (1-201): dying kittens. http://tfl.nu/66tr
  Replies (19) Good night (853) Bad night (2050)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4619)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.

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  (401): okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly. http://tfl.nu/8lsw
  Replies (20) Good night (4478) Bad night (1220)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?

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  (204): well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing? http://tfl.nu/m8p9
  Replies (9) Good night (3288) Bad night (1161)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??

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  (309): why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat?? http://tfl.nu/gupl
  Replies (18) Good night (4833) Bad night (1214)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

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  (519): Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn. http://tfl.nu/jg1z
  Replies (7) Good night (1189) Bad night (2698)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2397) Bad night (605)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1605) Bad night (710)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.

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  (910): He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that. http://tfl.nu/o050
  Replies (3) Good night (2852) Bad night (1155)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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  (617): my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store. http://tfl.nu/jy53
  Replies (3) Good night (1199) Bad night (654)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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  (229): You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name http://tfl.nu/wjcx
  Replies (2) Good night (1700) Bad night (473)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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  (850): You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/k8oo
  Replies (2) Good night (1352) Bad night (354)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater

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  (226): I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater http://tfl.nu/c1nm
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (485)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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  (908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70
  Replies (1) Good night (771) Bad night (268)

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