Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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  (407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes (1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/3nr6
  Replies (21) Good night (4238) Bad night (803)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Lol no its called college

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  (216): Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER? (1-216): Lol no its called college http://tfl.nu/1cpq
  Replies (44) Good night (3668) Bad night (667)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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  (703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc
  Replies (19) Good night (6158) Bad night (1428)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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  (44): Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash? http://tfl.nu/dolq
  Replies (34) Good night (4072) Bad night (1738)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."

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  (774): I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..." http://tfl.nu/yy1j
  Replies (8) Good night (4514) Bad night (1023)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.

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  (571): she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant. http://tfl.nu/awg1
  Replies (8) Good night (4268) Bad night (1032)
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  (845): View more from New York

  well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back

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  (845): well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back http://tfl.nu/xxu5
  Replies (33) Good night (4371) Bad night (1542)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

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  (765): We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic? http://tfl.nu/pmld
  Replies (15) Good night (1445) Bad night (2824)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?

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  (303): What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night? http://tfl.nu/ofgo
  Replies (3) Good night (2329) Bad night (900)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?

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  (303): do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie? http://tfl.nu/kg1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1079) Bad night (3540)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1509) Bad night (1032)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?

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  (479): The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in? http://tfl.nu/vsmz
  Replies (1) Good night (1429) Bad night (582)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

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  (206): She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out.. http://tfl.nu/vlup
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (625)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"

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  (+66): The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?" http://tfl.nu/bzhn
  Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (430)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!

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  (407): Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way! http://tfl.nu/w4wy
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (207)

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