one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.