i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
