I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
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