come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
