She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
