mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
