the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
