On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.