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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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• (646): View more from New York

  We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

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• (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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• (305): View more from Florida

  i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  oh but she would

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.

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• (714): View more from California

  I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You come prepared

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