Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.