I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
